Drop a heart

What is the meaning of 'Selflessness' and who do u think is truely selfless..

i know this is such a silly thing to ask.. cause it honestly doesnt matter that much right? it is human to be selfish..
But i just get so frustrated sometimes knowing how selfish people are....
and not just the selfishness you see in movies.. where the old rich man is too cheap to give a bum some change.. but the smaller things that somehow secretly manipulates the people around you...

im speaking about adults and parents we have as our influence in life..
im my culture.. we respect the elders.. because they have actually been through more than we have, but why should i respect someone just because they are older.. what if they actually knew nothing? and mostly, why should i respect someone that doesnt respect me, even tho i am younger.. i think respect should go both ways.. we know more than they do in different levels.. our generation isnt as dumb as they use to be..

i think that my parents are the most selfless people i know.. and they are such a great role model as well..
not cause they were smart with money.. and got me to be an awesome business women and make a but load of money..
but cause they showed me how to have a heart and all my morals in life..
everytime i look at other families i always see something wrong with their parents (no offense) that make kids turn out a certain way..

my dad stopped smoking when i was young, i couldnt remember it.. but my mum told me that i ran up to him once and told him to stop smoking or he would die.. and so he did..
but it just shows how much he really cared about us to not smoke.. and not influence us to smoke as well.. tho my brother still did pick it up =/ which is a shame..
my parents dont gamble neither.. or do drugs.. or want anything to do with drugs.. like other asian families around here.. they said that they would rather stay poor than have drug money.. or be caught and not be able to be around us.. (i've asked..)
and i know they spoil me.. but not to the point that i take money for granted.. i dont laugh because i have more money.. or get what i want... because they made me work as well.. work so i know what its like to earn for a living.. and what its like to be more independent.. but mostly, they dont spoil me for the fact that im special.. or the oldest.. or anything like that, they do it to show me that i am loved..
they tell me when i get sad.. that they wouldnt have done anything for me if they didnt care.. so i guess that is how they show me they love me.. by sacrificing so much just for us kids..
my parents never take holidays.. and never buys anything for themselves.. my dad tries to build a home for us to love and stay in..
and my mum works her ass off even tho she has arthritis in both her wrist.. and a tennis elbow for working so much..
all they ever want in return is the house to be cleaned.. lol

most of all tho, they are always so proud of me and my brother.. (not of him smoking)
but no matter what i decide to choose in to do in life (not prostitution) they will always back me up with my creativity..

you just hear all the stories about abusive parents.. and parents that gamble.. parents who spoil their kids so much they become a total bitch, parents who dont acknowledge their kids that they turn out fucked up and emo..
im not blaming every parent out there.. lol i loove so many of my friends parents.. they are really the sweetest..

when you become a parent.. what would you be like?? because i believe that every little thing matters...

another thing i would like to rage about is chip ins!
there are so many people that come to my events.. and dont chip in, for everyone that does.. i am sooo thankful.. i always feel so selfish everytime i ask for money.. but i shouldnt because its not easy to arrange a get together.. at a house.. (cause a lot of people are anal about parties at their houses so often) then theres the preparing of everything, food, drinks, driving everywhere to get everything, driving people, inviting people, telling them not to bring their annoying partners.. LOL kidding.. but there is a lot more to organising an event =(
and i put in a lot of money every time too..
10$ isnt a lot.. we're older now too.. if people are able to go clubbing where the entry fee is 25$.. or go gamble.. or drink... than why cant they chip in for something.. right? not like they have to do anything else, and when they do, i normally offer them some money to help out too.
and all the excuses that people make as well.. "im not going to eat so im not going to chip in" I DONT CARE! lol people normally end up eating and drinking.. i swear they do.. and if you dont eat just for the sake of proving my point.. its worse! i have soooooooooo much food.... and it normally gets wasted if no one ends up finishing them =(
i know i've not chipped in a couple of times for parties.. but thats only cause they had pizza........ and they never get vegetarian..... lol so i really dont get anything..
also, the 'i'll pay next time' thing, is really annoying.. cause you know all the people that say they will pay next time, 90% of them dont.. so i am really short afterwards..
most of the time it isnt that bad for me.. i dont care as long as everyones happy.. but sometimes i have to borrow money from people.. and they expect money back..
also think about all the people that do pay.. and someone else ends up eating thier share.. its not fair..
so next week at my party.. it will be club rules.. no chip in, no entry..

and as always.. BYO DRINKS! =D
think i'll get some cheap champaine bottles tho =)

sorry about the ramblings.. i am so tired atm from work.. EVERYTHING HURTS!