memories..

i am constantly thinking over and over again about what my passions are and what i truly want in life..

i dont really want the perfect job or career.. that makes a lot of money.. cause then i would be working for the wrong reasons really.. (in my eyes at least)
i do not want to crave money in that way at least, it would be lovely.. but i dont think i'd want that.. not for myself at least.

i dont exactly like art as much as people think.. it has become so much of me that it makes me sick of it... if thats understandable.. i just wish it werent for forceful nowadays.. maybe i'd enjoy it more to actually get something done..

and food has become an enemy really.. nothing too horrible, its just the limit supply of cash and time and the fact that i have to feed 3, me, dave and my other tummy.. i really dont have much options than to eat unhealthy food only for the fact that they are cheap and filling.

but as i stare blankly onto my wall.. and look into the happy faces of me and my friends in the photos.. i just so sure that that is what i am here for..
yes.. that sounds so silly.. but i think thats the thing that truely makes me happy..

i keep thinking about the past.. and everyone i've met on the way.. everything i've done.. everything that has shaped me into what i am today..
how much i want to personally thank each and every one of those people for everything they have done...
there have been so many moment where random people have saved me from myself.. and everything that breaks me up inside..

but i was mainly thinking about how much everyone has changed since high school i guess..
just think.. if it were 5 years ago.. and you met the person you are today, what would you think?

i'd be a little upset, and try to change myself for the better (career wise) LOL shocked that im wish dave.. really shocked actually.. LOL me and dave in highschool would be loling about it while freaking out on the inside..
i guess this isnt what i expected 5 years later.. i really honestly thought i would be dead by now. but i guess life goes on right?

its 4am.. and im rambling.. but as someone told me last night :P that it is my blog.. and i get to write what i want when i want =D right!!!!